Johnny Johnny... Yes Papa !

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A third grade teacher told her class, "Children, we are going to begin to study a little sex education. Tonight, girls, your first assignment will be to find out from your parents how to avoid getting pregnant. For you boys, your assignment will be to go home and find out what a penis is."

So little Johnny goes home and asks his father, "Daddy, what is a penis?"

The father pulls down his pants and points proudly saying, "Son, that is a perfect penis."

The next day, when Johnny gets to school, his best friend runs up to him on the playground and says to Johnny, "I forgot to find out what a penis is! What's a penis!" Johnny tells him, "Come on."

So they both go into the boys room and Johnny pulls down his pants. He points down and says, "There, if that was a little smaller, it would be a perfect penis!"

At Sunday school, the teacher asked little Johnny, "Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?"

"Sure," little Johnny replied. "They go out in back of the church yard."

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his at dad breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny,those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven."

Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnny's dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!"

His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?"

"Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!

One day, the mother walks by her young son's room and sees little Johnny masturbating. Later, she has a talk with him and tells him that good little boys save it until they are married.

A few weeks later, the mom is having another talk with little Johnny.
"How are you doing with that problem we talked about, dear?" she asks.
Little Johnny cheerfully replies, "Great! So far, I've saved nearly a quart!"

Little Johnny is running around the house making life miserable for his mother. She says, "Johnny, why don't you go across the street and watch them build the house. Maybe you can learn some neat things."

Johnny disappears for about four hours and returns later in the afternoon.
"Did you learn anything interesting today?", his mother asks.
"I learned how to hang a door", Johnny replies. Mom says, "That's great!
How do you do that?". "Well, first you get the son of bitch. Then, you slap the piece of shit up there but it's too fucking small. So you shave a cunt hair off here and a cunt hair off there and put the goddamn
thing up."
Johnny's mom is floored by his language. "You go to your room and wait until your father gets home!!".

Later, Johnny's dad goes into his room and says, "I understand you got in a little trouble today." "All I did was tell Mom how to hang a door."

"Why don't you tell me", Dad asks? "Well, first you get the son of bitch. Then you slap the piece of shit up there but it's too fucking small. So you shave a cunt hair off here and a cunt hair off there and put the
goddamn thing up."

Dad screams, "That's it young man. You go get a switch from the back yard."

Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Fuck you, that's the electricians job!"