The Daily Dosage : A few pills once a day

TA man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It doesn't take the homeowner long to realize the man is drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"

"No, get lost! It's half past three! I was in bed!" screams the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.

She remarks, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," explains the wife. "He needs our help and it would be nice to help him."

So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door but he can't see the stranger anywhere in the dark, so he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

He hears a voice cry out, "Yes, please."

"Where are you?" shouts the homeowner.

The stranger calls back, "I'm over here, on your swing."

Pick up lines

I heard milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much you been drinking?

(lick her sleeve) Well we better get you out of those wet clothes!

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you!

Are you wearing lipstick? Well mind if a taste it?

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I drive by again?

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fell in love.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."

Hey, you want to go out for pizza and some sex? What, you don't like pizza?

I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you instead?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'u' and 'i' closer together.

If I were bread, would you be my butter?

If I were God, all of my angels would look like you!

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

One of us is thinking about sex... Okay, it's me.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

Should I break it to your friend that she's going home alone?

Stick with me baby and I'll buy you rocks as big as diamonds.

That outfit looks great on you. It would look even better rolled up in a ball on my bedroom floor.

Wink. I'll do the rest.

You have a beautiful body. Will you hold that against me?

Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?